2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
