eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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