i would punch a child for taco bell
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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