im about as happy as oj after his trial
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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