whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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