If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
