Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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