we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize