And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
