drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
