Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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