yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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