he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
