so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
