it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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