I hate your face
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
