Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
