Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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