You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
