I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
