I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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