I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
