I seem to have left my pride at pride
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
