sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
