I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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