Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
