i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
