No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
