You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
