She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
