She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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