Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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