And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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