You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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