Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
