oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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