I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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