she kept yelling 'call me bella'
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
