Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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