I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
