He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
