she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
