Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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