so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
