My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
