There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
