I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
