I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
