he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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