I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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