He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
